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Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Show Don't Tell

WILF
I will begin by describing what the characters body felt like.
I will describe what they were thinking
I will leave the audience hanging



He started to shake, his legs started to wobble, his heart sank into his shoes, his hands were like stone. He started to quiver, he could imagine what would happen when they found out……  

There was something wrong with his face, his cheeks were rosy red and his mouth was wide. He was just imagining what he would receive when he won …..


Can you tell what emotion I've used in my writing?


We had to change this sentence into showing not telling. She was happy and excited when she went for a swim on the hot sunny day with her best friend.



Heart pounding, feet burning, rash appearing and a smile on her face. She did secret handshake with a girl from school. Their feet sank into tiny grains of sand just thinking if it was quick sand. They smashed into the waves sliding up the soft golden sand. The brightness got stronger, some sort of water forming on her face, no white in the sky just blue. They wondered if there would be white in the sky...

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